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Post by northernfarmer on Oct 27, 2020 18:09:22 GMT -6
Wife: Did I get fat during quarantine? Husband: Well, you weren't really skinny to begin with!
Time of Death: 11:00PM Cause of Death: COVID
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Post by Beerwiser on Oct 27, 2020 22:44:26 GMT -6
I should probably delete that post in case the wife looks at my computer lol. Actually might save a lot of lives....
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Post by northernfarmer on Oct 28, 2020 10:59:55 GMT -6
OLD FARMERβS ADVICE
1. Every path has a few puddles. 2. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. 3. Best sermons are lived, not preached. 4. Most of this stuff you worry about ainβt never going to happen anyway. 5. Donβt judge folks by their relatives. 6. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 7. Live the good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, youβll enjoy it a second time. 8. Donβt interfere with something that ainβt bothering you not. 9. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. 10. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
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Post by northernfarmer on Oct 29, 2020 22:29:09 GMT -6
How do you start a fairy tale in the modern era?
"If elected, I promise..."
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Post by Beerwiser on Oct 31, 2020 0:02:41 GMT -6
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Post by northernfarmer on Nov 4, 2020 16:36:58 GMT -6
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Post by northernfarmer on Nov 4, 2020 17:12:53 GMT -6
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Post by northernfarmer on Nov 4, 2020 17:56:52 GMT -6
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.
"What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!"
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Post by northernfarmer on Nov 5, 2020 17:48:55 GMT -6
If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be...
There's no need to remind her every half hour.
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Post by Beerwiser on Nov 5, 2020 19:39:45 GMT -6
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Post by meskie on Nov 5, 2020 19:54:21 GMT -6
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Post by northernfarmer on Nov 6, 2020 12:53:46 GMT -6
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Post by Beerwiser on Nov 8, 2020 0:48:14 GMT -6
Well the weather went to shit, this seems appropriate. Attachments:
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Post by northernfarmer on Nov 9, 2020 20:32:13 GMT -6
Here's a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler. Wake-up calls are the worst way to wake up. The phone rings, it's loud and you can't turn it down.
Instead...I leave the number of the room next to me. It just rings very quietly and you hear a guy yell, "Why are you calling me?"
Then I get up and take a shower. It's great!
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Post by northernfarmer on Nov 11, 2020 9:43:27 GMT -6
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