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Post by northernfarmer on Aug 30, 2021 18:33:52 GMT -6
While a man was dying, his wife was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying wakes him from his slumber. He looked up, and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My Darling, " he whispered. "Hush, my love." she said "Rest. Don't talk."
He was insistent. "I have something that I must confess," he said in a tired voice. βThere isn't anything to confess." replied his weeping wife. "Everything is okay, go to sleep."
The man blurted out, "No, no I must die in peace. I...I slept with your sister and your best friend, and her best friend."
"I know dear," whispered his wife, "that's why I poisoned you."
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Post by northernfarmer on Sept 4, 2021 17:23:53 GMT -6
You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa-bed simply by forgetting your wifeβs birthday.
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Post by northernfarmer on Sept 7, 2021 9:18:12 GMT -6
YOU KNOW YOUβRE TOO STRESSED WHEN...
1. You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up. 2. The Sun is too loud. 3. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. 4. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso. 5. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. 6. You can hear mimes. 7. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
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Post by meskie on Sept 7, 2021 10:01:17 GMT -6
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Mags
New Member
Posts: 40 Likes: 12
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Post by Mags on Sept 7, 2021 16:18:55 GMT -6
.Attachments:
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Mags
New Member
Posts: 40 Likes: 12
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Post by Mags on Sept 7, 2021 16:24:04 GMT -6
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Post by meskie on Sept 7, 2021 16:38:55 GMT -6
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Post by Beerwiser on Sept 7, 2021 18:06:28 GMT -6
One girl thought his tattoo said Swan. The skilled one saw that it really said Saskatchewan!
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Post by northernfarmer on Sept 7, 2021 19:29:47 GMT -6
My boss calls me "the computer"...
Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
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Post by kevlar on Sept 7, 2021 22:22:58 GMT -6
Wasn't sure where to put this. Was thinking maybe I should be the poster boy for Manitoba Hydro. Don't worry, the lines aren't live!
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Post by victory on Sept 7, 2021 22:31:58 GMT -6
Your crops must be pretty good, Kevlar. Looks like you ran out of granary space already! Or is that called natural aeration?
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Post by kevlar on Sept 7, 2021 22:42:06 GMT -6
Yes crops are actually pretty good, sprouted some but not as bad as it could have been. Most of the bins are full of tough grain, and this pile is pretty much the only stuff we have taken off dry (enough) since all the rain. A word of advice, don't sow over half your land to barley, all at once, and swath all at once.
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Post by meskie on Sept 7, 2021 22:58:26 GMT -6
Yes crops are actually pretty good, sprouted some but not as bad as it could have been. Most of the bins are full of tough grain, and this pile is pretty much the only stuff we have taken off dry (enough) since all the rain. A word of advice, don't sow over half your land to barley, all at once, and swath all at once. I guess thatβs why we straight cut barleyβ¦. Actually we have only swathed a few green patches of canola this year. If we didnβt use it to cut hay and silage it would be hardly worth having.
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Post by northernfarmer on Sept 8, 2021 19:16:18 GMT -6
Wasn't sure where to put this. Was thinking maybe I should be the poster boy for Manitoba Hydro. Don't worry, the lines aren't live!
Looks like you have indeed more lives then a cat, 17 and counting ? ( if anyone doesn't get it, look at the back of the box )
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Post by northernfarmer on Sept 9, 2021 12:34:07 GMT -6
THINGS YOUβLL NEVER HEAR A DAD SAY
1. Well, how 'bout that?...I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
2. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
3. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car...GO CRAZY.
4. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend...you might want to consider throwing a party.
5. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
6. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
7. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
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